As I was doing some research a couple of weeks ago about Paisley's birth providence, I started thinking about her biological parents, more specifically her mom. Because of how Paisley was found, there is no information about either one of her biological parents. It isn't surprising to Daniel or myself that we will never know who her bio parents were or their story, but one day we will have to share the answers to the hard questions with Paisley. We don't have all of the answers to her questions she will ask, but we will make sure that she does not harbor negative feelings towards her bio parents, especially her mom. We could come up with a tragic story about how adoption was the only way to save Paisley's life or they were dirt poor and couldn't afford to care for a newborn. Also, we could assure her that her bio mom and dad knew she would have a better life without being in their care. And that story might be true.
However, you can't overlook the heart-breaking possibility as well: her bio parents could have just not been ready to be parents. Maybe they were afraid of becoming parents. Maybe they wanted a boy and not a girl. Maybe they were poor and couldn't raise a child. There are a million heart-warming and heart-breaking reasons as to why her bio parents are not caring for her now. But that isn't the important part of this story. The important part is the ending, and yet it is the beginning of a life with a loving and caring family who will never abandon her.
As great it is to think about how a little girl's life will change for the better, I can't stop thinking about her bio parents. Where are they? What are they doing? How do they feel? Do they wonder about their little girl? Do they hope and pray that she will be adopted and cared for? As hard as it is for our American brains to comprehend ever leaving a newborn only a few days old to be found and placed in an orphanage, we've learned that these Chinese mothers do care for their babies. Since abortion and giving a child up for adoption are illegal in China, abandoning a child is the only route if parents are unable to care for a child and hope for a prosperous life for their child. A lot of the mothers will pin the child's name and birthdate to the newborn's clothes so their identity isn't lost once in the orphanage. That one simple act leads me to believe that these parents do care for their children, so much that they give them up for a chance at a better life.
I think about what that moment must have been like for Paisley's bio mother as she walked away from her child for the last time not knowing what would happen to her. I can't imagine the pain she could have felt. What was she thinking during those moments? Does she still think of her little baby? Has she been able to go back to her everyday life post-baby? Has she given birth to other children? Does she feel empty inside not having her daughter with her?
I pray for Paisley's bio mom. Even though I will never meet her, I think of her often and admire her bravery, if that is what it really is.
Dear Paisley's bio mother,
There aren't enough words to accurately portray my feelings towards you. I am unaware of your situation at the time of your daughter's birth. I can't assume that you were doing a selfless act by giving your child a better life. On the other hand, I can't assume that you were being selfish by giving her up either. Your motives will forever be a mystery, and I can't spend any more time thinking about that day and why.
I want to thank you for giving up your little girl for adoption no matter your reason. You have given 2 American people such joy by giving us a gift that we would never repay you for. You have given us our first child. I assure you 100% that she will always be taken care of. She will never grow hungry, thirsty, alone, bored. She already is and will continue to be loved like she was a blood relative of our family. I've always hated the saying "blood is thicker than water", because it's not true. Family isn't something a person is necessarily born into, but it's a unit that is accepting of others no matter their origin. It's people who welcome and adopt one as their own to care and nurture each other.
Even though we are beginning our family unit, your daughter is the first building block to our expansion. She is just as special to us as if she was our own flesh and blood. We will provide everything she needs in order for her to grow up as a smart, loving, caring, selfless, successful, honest, respectful, young lady. She is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen, and I have yet to see her in person. I promise to pray for you daily and to teach Paisley to pray for you as well. I will encourage her to not only see herself when she is looking in the mirror, but recognize the woman who gave her life. The mother she will never know but will learn to appreciate. There will be no bitter feelings towards you in our house, because you made the choice to give life. And you gave us the most precious life.
Thank you seems so small. Instead I promise to be the mother that Paisley needs. I will never take for granted this miraculous gift. Thank you for giving me a daughter.
Eternally grateful,
Paisley's adoptive mommy
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
A Call to Missions (Leslie's Story)
Before Daniel and I answered the call to adopt, I always had a preconceived notion about adoption...what it was, who it was for, and how could anyone love and want a child who wasn't their own? It's funny how the Lord can work on a heart, because He has definitely worked on mine over the last 20 years.
I first felt a call to "go" when I became saved. I was 10 when I felt God pulling at my heart strings, and it was during VBS one summer that I started to ask questions. Later that year at a revival, I asked Jesus to come into my heart and live with me forever. And He has never left my side.
During my teenage years, I always thought about what I would do if God called me into the mission field. Our church had several missionaries come speak throughout the years and to some extent I felt like there was a "calling" to go. I was scared to death to think that I was being called to leave everything that I knew and loved about my home to live in a foreign land where English was not spoken to share the love of Jesus. I always thought that if I just didn't think about it, then it would just go away. I had hoped that God would stop telling me that my life revolved around a foreign land. I was terrified. So terrified that I have suppressed these thoughts until recently.
Meanwhile, I spent my teenage summers babysitting and teaching at Mothers' Day Out at the church. Here, I was first exposed to little adopted Chinese girls. They were all beautiful, and I was curious how someone would go to such great lengths to make someone else's child their own. Not just any child, but a child from a different country. A different nationality. A different race. A different heritage. A different religion. A different language. I made up my mind then that I never wanted to adopt. The amount of time, effort, and money that it would take to bring in a foreign child as your own was just too much for me to handle. Not to mention, I wanted my own children who look, act, talk, and laugh just like me. There was no changing my mind.
Just a piece of advice for you. NEVER make your mind up about something without first consulting the One who has a purpose for your life, because you might be missing the big picture with the little information you may or may not already know.
Fast forward to my post about "Why Adoption". If you read this post, you will remember that I open up about my struggles with wanting to be a parent, but not necessarily being ready to be pregnant. Honestly, I still struggle to an extent with wondering why adoption is our route for having our first child. Then I remember Satan is whispering those seeds of doubt and insecurities in my ear, and he will do anything to try to destroy God's purpose.
God's purpose. Yes, let's go back to that. It has taken me over half of my life to finally answer God's call for my life. Even though He hasn't called me to be a missionary in the traditional sense of the word by leaving the comfort of home and living in a foreign land preaching His name, He has called me to a "reverse missionary". (Do you like that term? I literally just made it up.) A "reverse missionary" in Leslie's terms is one who adopts, one who welcomes someone into their home to live. So for Daniel and me, we are traveling to a foreign land to bring home someone who needs us to show her who God is and to grow up learning, growing, and living in His Word.
I am so grateful to have married a man who is just as passionate about kids (and probably moreso) as I am. Without him, I am not sure if I would have fully answered the call to adopt. When Daniel and I married, I knew that he was "the one". I guess at that time I just didn't know exactly why he was the one. Over the course of the last 10 months, God has shown us why He has brought us together. Without us, He wouldn't be able to fully execute His plan according to His will. Do I believe that God could still execute His plan without us? Sure, but why would I want to miss that?
Daniel and I have been given an opportunity of a lifetime "to go" and bring home a little girl to be our daughter. We will visit a foreign country for several days. We will see how they live, what their struggles are, what their passions are. We will forever be changed from this trip. And who knows what our next adventure might be after bringing Paisley home. We will forever be intertwined with the Chinese people. And I am not terrified of that. In fact, I am honored. This is our call to missions.
I first felt a call to "go" when I became saved. I was 10 when I felt God pulling at my heart strings, and it was during VBS one summer that I started to ask questions. Later that year at a revival, I asked Jesus to come into my heart and live with me forever. And He has never left my side.
During my teenage years, I always thought about what I would do if God called me into the mission field. Our church had several missionaries come speak throughout the years and to some extent I felt like there was a "calling" to go. I was scared to death to think that I was being called to leave everything that I knew and loved about my home to live in a foreign land where English was not spoken to share the love of Jesus. I always thought that if I just didn't think about it, then it would just go away. I had hoped that God would stop telling me that my life revolved around a foreign land. I was terrified. So terrified that I have suppressed these thoughts until recently.
Meanwhile, I spent my teenage summers babysitting and teaching at Mothers' Day Out at the church. Here, I was first exposed to little adopted Chinese girls. They were all beautiful, and I was curious how someone would go to such great lengths to make someone else's child their own. Not just any child, but a child from a different country. A different nationality. A different race. A different heritage. A different religion. A different language. I made up my mind then that I never wanted to adopt. The amount of time, effort, and money that it would take to bring in a foreign child as your own was just too much for me to handle. Not to mention, I wanted my own children who look, act, talk, and laugh just like me. There was no changing my mind.
Just a piece of advice for you. NEVER make your mind up about something without first consulting the One who has a purpose for your life, because you might be missing the big picture with the little information you may or may not already know.
Fast forward to my post about "Why Adoption". If you read this post, you will remember that I open up about my struggles with wanting to be a parent, but not necessarily being ready to be pregnant. Honestly, I still struggle to an extent with wondering why adoption is our route for having our first child. Then I remember Satan is whispering those seeds of doubt and insecurities in my ear, and he will do anything to try to destroy God's purpose.
God's purpose. Yes, let's go back to that. It has taken me over half of my life to finally answer God's call for my life. Even though He hasn't called me to be a missionary in the traditional sense of the word by leaving the comfort of home and living in a foreign land preaching His name, He has called me to a "reverse missionary". (Do you like that term? I literally just made it up.) A "reverse missionary" in Leslie's terms is one who adopts, one who welcomes someone into their home to live. So for Daniel and me, we are traveling to a foreign land to bring home someone who needs us to show her who God is and to grow up learning, growing, and living in His Word.
I am so grateful to have married a man who is just as passionate about kids (and probably moreso) as I am. Without him, I am not sure if I would have fully answered the call to adopt. When Daniel and I married, I knew that he was "the one". I guess at that time I just didn't know exactly why he was the one. Over the course of the last 10 months, God has shown us why He has brought us together. Without us, He wouldn't be able to fully execute His plan according to His will. Do I believe that God could still execute His plan without us? Sure, but why would I want to miss that?
Daniel and I have been given an opportunity of a lifetime "to go" and bring home a little girl to be our daughter. We will visit a foreign country for several days. We will see how they live, what their struggles are, what their passions are. We will forever be changed from this trip. And who knows what our next adventure might be after bringing Paisley home. We will forever be intertwined with the Chinese people. And I am not terrified of that. In fact, I am honored. This is our call to missions.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
straight ahead: sleepless nights
Do you know how hard it is to sleep at night knowing your child is half a world away? Parenthood is filled with hard situations and circumstances on a daily basis. Pregnancy is something I have yet to experience personally, but from what I have heard from those who have experienced it, pregnancy has good moments along with challenges at times.
The same goes with adoption only on a different scale.
Before we received PA (pre-approval) for Paisley, I imagined how hard its would be for me to leave her at daycare, go to big school, or even spend the night at family's houses. To leave my little girl somewhere for any length of time without me was heart-breaking. I never want her to be away from my side once we travel to get her. However, I didn't fully think through was how hard it was going to be to now wait months before we will receive our travel assignment in order to go get her. We are looking at 9-12 months before we will be able to see that sweet face in person. I am already starting to experience restless nights sleeping, because our daughter is living on the other side of the world. Let me put this in perspective: she is currently 13 hours ahead of us. When we are asleep, she is awake. When we are awake, she is asleep. And I have to go several months like this? Knowing that our little girl is not with us?
I like to think she is safe in her orphanage being taken care of by nannies who love her as their own, but frankly that is naive of me to think that. Daniel and I may never know what abuse (prayfully, none at all) she has/will experience during her time living in an orphanage. We can't assume that she has lived a life of ease filled with days of arts-n-crafts, games, learning the alphabet, singing songs, being loved on. Orphans are the lowest priority. It is sad, but it's the truth. Sure, these children are feed, put to bed, and clothed (for the most part), but they don't experience a childhood like you and I did. For this very reason, my heart aches for Paisley to be here with us. To be with her mom and dad who want her, to care for her, to love her, to provide for her, to spoil her, and to make sure she is never alone again.
Orphans live a rough life so why would we think they have it made? They didn't chose this life, but someone else did for them. They want to be loved and cared for. They want to grow up and better the world by doing something meaningful. Kids have dreams. Big dreams. Honestly, I am grateful more than anything to be given the opportunity to make a difference in one child's life. And the sleepless nights will be more than I would like for them to be until we can bring her home. However, each sleepless night will be completely worth it in the end. So bring on the added wrinkles and dark, baggy eyes. They are for our daughter.
So will you join us? Please join us in praying for a few things.
1. Paisley. Please pray for her, her health, her mental state, and getting prepared for a new life.
2. Daniel and me. Please pray for rest, health, focus, motivation to do while we wait, and to share our story.
3. Paisley's nannies. Please pray for the women (and men) who will care for her. Pray for gentle words, touch, and care as they look after our daughter.
4. Funds. It's sad that money is such a huge part of adoption, but it is. And what's even more sad is knowing just how many families would love to adopt but can't due to the lack of funds. Thankfully, God has provided for our adoption so far. We have faith He will continue. Please pray for us to think of new fundraisers to start, for people to participate in those fundraisers, and for others to spread the word about the fundraisers. Without money, we aren't able to bring Paisley home.
5. The rest of our adoption process (mostly the paperwork/approval stage). Please pray for ease in getting the rest of our documents completed and approval by both the US and Chinese governments. Pray there will be no hold-ups and our documents will be approved with ease.
Like we always say, thank YOU for the continued prayers and support. You are changing lives. May God bless each of you for what you are helping to accomplish.
The same goes with adoption only on a different scale.
Before we received PA (pre-approval) for Paisley, I imagined how hard its would be for me to leave her at daycare, go to big school, or even spend the night at family's houses. To leave my little girl somewhere for any length of time without me was heart-breaking. I never want her to be away from my side once we travel to get her. However, I didn't fully think through was how hard it was going to be to now wait months before we will receive our travel assignment in order to go get her. We are looking at 9-12 months before we will be able to see that sweet face in person. I am already starting to experience restless nights sleeping, because our daughter is living on the other side of the world. Let me put this in perspective: she is currently 13 hours ahead of us. When we are asleep, she is awake. When we are awake, she is asleep. And I have to go several months like this? Knowing that our little girl is not with us?
I like to think she is safe in her orphanage being taken care of by nannies who love her as their own, but frankly that is naive of me to think that. Daniel and I may never know what abuse (prayfully, none at all) she has/will experience during her time living in an orphanage. We can't assume that she has lived a life of ease filled with days of arts-n-crafts, games, learning the alphabet, singing songs, being loved on. Orphans are the lowest priority. It is sad, but it's the truth. Sure, these children are feed, put to bed, and clothed (for the most part), but they don't experience a childhood like you and I did. For this very reason, my heart aches for Paisley to be here with us. To be with her mom and dad who want her, to care for her, to love her, to provide for her, to spoil her, and to make sure she is never alone again.
Orphans live a rough life so why would we think they have it made? They didn't chose this life, but someone else did for them. They want to be loved and cared for. They want to grow up and better the world by doing something meaningful. Kids have dreams. Big dreams. Honestly, I am grateful more than anything to be given the opportunity to make a difference in one child's life. And the sleepless nights will be more than I would like for them to be until we can bring her home. However, each sleepless night will be completely worth it in the end. So bring on the added wrinkles and dark, baggy eyes. They are for our daughter.
So will you join us? Please join us in praying for a few things.
1. Paisley. Please pray for her, her health, her mental state, and getting prepared for a new life.
2. Daniel and me. Please pray for rest, health, focus, motivation to do while we wait, and to share our story.
3. Paisley's nannies. Please pray for the women (and men) who will care for her. Pray for gentle words, touch, and care as they look after our daughter.
4. Funds. It's sad that money is such a huge part of adoption, but it is. And what's even more sad is knowing just how many families would love to adopt but can't due to the lack of funds. Thankfully, God has provided for our adoption so far. We have faith He will continue. Please pray for us to think of new fundraisers to start, for people to participate in those fundraisers, and for others to spread the word about the fundraisers. Without money, we aren't able to bring Paisley home.
5. The rest of our adoption process (mostly the paperwork/approval stage). Please pray for ease in getting the rest of our documents completed and approval by both the US and Chinese governments. Pray there will be no hold-ups and our documents will be approved with ease.
Like we always say, thank YOU for the continued prayers and support. You are changing lives. May God bless each of you for what you are helping to accomplish.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Let me introduce you to our daughter, Paisley
Tuesday, May 6 blog post is one that I wrote not only as a prayer, but a cry to God asking that He give us a glimpse of the face who we will have the honor to be her parents. It's silly to think that of all the things that I was concerned about that knowing our little girl's face was so high on the list. I almost felt ashamed to ask for prayers to deal with not knowing since pregnant mothers can't see pictures of their children until they are born unless you count those 4D pics, which kind of scare me to a certain extent. Five months of wondering who she will be was literally making me restless that I would wake in the middle of the night and pray and dream about her sweet little face.
His command is simple: ask and ye shall receive. That's exactly what He has done. He has heard YOUR prayers for Daniel and I to see the face of our daughter within a week's time of May 6. On Monday, May 12th, He brought the sweetest little girl's picture to my computer screen. After discussing this little girl with Daniel that evening, I emailed Karisa, our social worker, to see her file. Karisa emailed us back on Tuesday to say she was not currently on hold with another family if we wanted more time to study her file. Since Daniel and I wanted to make sure we prevented placing kids' files on hold every other day, we felt like placing this little girl's file "on hold" was the step in the right direction.
(Background: You see, back in January (actually during the snow/ice storm), we placed our first child's file on hold. We spent 4 days praying, researching, and dreaming over this little girl's file. We were heartbroken when we discovered she wasn't the child for us. In fact, we were so consumed with this little girl that we asked to have her file placed on hold a few months later, but found out she was on hold with another family. Needless to say, we take an "on hold" file very seriously.)
Thus began our one week of placing this little girl's file "on hold". And what happened during that week was truly God. A peace about her and her medical circumstances came over both of us. We know there will be difficult days with any child we adopt, but there was something about this little girl that all we wanted to do was protect her, care for her, love her, make her ours. The thought of losing this little girl made both of us ill.
So what did we do next? We emailed Karisa to see what needed to be done about submitting a Letter of Intent (LOI) for this little girl. Since we are currently in the home study phase still, there were things that needed to be done in order for this to happen. We spent the next week getting our physicals along with the results, completing the necessary paperwork and letters, and stressing about turning everything into China on time. We weren't promised a lot of time with her file due to certain circumstances so we were racing against an imaginary clock.
On Friday, May 30th we sent our LOI to China for this little girl. Let me just say that we spent nearly 3 weeks waiting for the phone call that would change our life forever.
At 10AM on Thursday, June 19, I received the call from Karisa telling us we received Pre-Approval (PA) for our daughter. What a sense of relief it was to hear those words! She is ours. We already love her so much! We are beyond thrilled to go get her.
Thank you so much for the continued prayers! Your prayers are changing lives especially for a little girl who now has a mommy and a daddy who love her very much, something she has never known until today and she will never experience not having a mommy and a daddy ever again. We look forward to sharing more about her with you!
His command is simple: ask and ye shall receive. That's exactly what He has done. He has heard YOUR prayers for Daniel and I to see the face of our daughter within a week's time of May 6. On Monday, May 12th, He brought the sweetest little girl's picture to my computer screen. After discussing this little girl with Daniel that evening, I emailed Karisa, our social worker, to see her file. Karisa emailed us back on Tuesday to say she was not currently on hold with another family if we wanted more time to study her file. Since Daniel and I wanted to make sure we prevented placing kids' files on hold every other day, we felt like placing this little girl's file "on hold" was the step in the right direction.
(Background: You see, back in January (actually during the snow/ice storm), we placed our first child's file on hold. We spent 4 days praying, researching, and dreaming over this little girl's file. We were heartbroken when we discovered she wasn't the child for us. In fact, we were so consumed with this little girl that we asked to have her file placed on hold a few months later, but found out she was on hold with another family. Needless to say, we take an "on hold" file very seriously.)
Thus began our one week of placing this little girl's file "on hold". And what happened during that week was truly God. A peace about her and her medical circumstances came over both of us. We know there will be difficult days with any child we adopt, but there was something about this little girl that all we wanted to do was protect her, care for her, love her, make her ours. The thought of losing this little girl made both of us ill.
So what did we do next? We emailed Karisa to see what needed to be done about submitting a Letter of Intent (LOI) for this little girl. Since we are currently in the home study phase still, there were things that needed to be done in order for this to happen. We spent the next week getting our physicals along with the results, completing the necessary paperwork and letters, and stressing about turning everything into China on time. We weren't promised a lot of time with her file due to certain circumstances so we were racing against an imaginary clock.
On Friday, May 30th we sent our LOI to China for this little girl. Let me just say that we spent nearly 3 weeks waiting for the phone call that would change our life forever.
At 10AM on Thursday, June 19, I received the call from Karisa telling us we received Pre-Approval (PA) for our daughter. What a sense of relief it was to hear those words! She is ours. We already love her so much! We are beyond thrilled to go get her.
Thank you so much for the continued prayers! Your prayers are changing lives especially for a little girl who now has a mommy and a daddy who love her very much, something she has never known until today and she will never experience not having a mommy and a daddy ever again. We look forward to sharing more about her with you!
Paisley
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Summer Sing Off Challenge
It's time for the Summer Sing Off Challenge, where two $100 Visa gift cards are up for grabs!* See below for the official rules. Happy singing!
1. You nominate any person or group of people (family, friends, co-workers, enemies, etc) to karaoke or lip sync a song of your choosing on video to be posted on The Todds Adopt Facebook page for a $30 donation (by check, paypal, or Anchored in Faith website).
2. In order to nominate someone to make a music video, message The Todds Adopt (or email Daniel dhtodd04@gmail.com) with the person's contact information along with the song you want them to sing. Then we will contact the nominated person about how to submit the video singing/lip syncing your song of choice. If the person agrees and the video is posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page, then your donation of $30 is then due. However, if the person does not agree to submit a video, your donation is null.
Contest Winners: Each video is assigned a number (1 through 35) once posted. Once we receive the 35th video, then the public voting begins for the two $100 Visa gift cards (voting is based on the number of likes). The first round of voting narrows the videos down to the top 3, which will be a week of voting. Once the top 3 videos are decided, then the final round of voting begins, but time is limited to 72 hours. At this time, the winners of the Visa gift cards will be given to the video with the most likes: one gift cart to the donator/nominator and one gift card to the singer.
*Note: The contest will not take place until 35 videos are posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page.
As you can see, strategy is key in who you nominate and what song they will sing.
Confused about how this contest works? Here is an example:
Jackson nominates Tyson to sing Baha Men "Who Let the Dogs Out?". Tyson agrees and makes a video using his smart phone singing the song. He might even throw in a couple of dances moves for votes. Once posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page, Jackson sends his donation of $30.
Now get to nominating and making some entertaining music videos!
1. You nominate any person or group of people (family, friends, co-workers, enemies, etc) to karaoke or lip sync a song of your choosing on video to be posted on The Todds Adopt Facebook page for a $30 donation (by check, paypal, or Anchored in Faith website).
2. In order to nominate someone to make a music video, message The Todds Adopt (or email Daniel dhtodd04@gmail.com) with the person's contact information along with the song you want them to sing. Then we will contact the nominated person about how to submit the video singing/lip syncing your song of choice. If the person agrees and the video is posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page, then your donation of $30 is then due. However, if the person does not agree to submit a video, your donation is null.
Contest Winners: Each video is assigned a number (1 through 35) once posted. Once we receive the 35th video, then the public voting begins for the two $100 Visa gift cards (voting is based on the number of likes). The first round of voting narrows the videos down to the top 3, which will be a week of voting. Once the top 3 videos are decided, then the final round of voting begins, but time is limited to 72 hours. At this time, the winners of the Visa gift cards will be given to the video with the most likes: one gift cart to the donator/nominator and one gift card to the singer.
*Note: The contest will not take place until 35 videos are posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page.
As you can see, strategy is key in who you nominate and what song they will sing.
Confused about how this contest works? Here is an example:
Jackson nominates Tyson to sing Baha Men "Who Let the Dogs Out?". Tyson agrees and makes a video using his smart phone singing the song. He might even throw in a couple of dances moves for votes. Once posted to The Todds Adopt Facebook page, Jackson sends his donation of $30.
Now get to nominating and making some entertaining music videos!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Todd - Party of 3: an update about our adoption journey
As you may or may not have seen this past week, we are well on our way to completing the home study portion of our adoption journey. We have one conference call interview left to discuss the workbook we each completed after watching 4-5 hours of online videos. If you are keeping up at home with the hours of education we have consumed, you're looking at 20+ hours. This includes reading the book, The Connected Child, completing a 10-hour online Hague Adoption course, watching 4-5 online videos of an expert panel of Lifeline employees, and completing a workbook of what we learned during the education portion. I'm not going to lie and say that it was a piece of cake, or that I even enjoyed it most days. I mean, who enjoys reading about the background of kids who have started their lives in a tramatic experience? I questioned my abilities to parent a child, much less raising an adopted, special needs child through our education training. And not knowing exactly who our daughter is and what her needs might be didn't help comfort me at all. I felt defeated before we were given the chance to bring her home.
Even though the education portion of the adoption process was not always my favorite "pick-me-up" portion of my day, it has been extremely helpful in knowing and preparing us for what may come our way. In some ways, it helped soften my heart and develop my love for these precious orphans that much more. We may not parent Paisley the "traditional way" as we will our biological children, which might not be right 100% of the time in the eyes of some, but we do promise to raise her in a safe, loving, caring, nurturing home where she will never feel alone again. Even though she was birthed by another, she will always be our daughter. I am a firm believer that this journey Daniel and I are on now to find her is just the very tip of what is to come for our growing family. We aren't just changing her life; she is changing ours.
Once the home study interviews are complete, Lifeline begins to compile our draft for our dossier (which is the official packet of our lives) to send to China. This process will take about a month of compiling and revising before Daniel and I will authorize its completion and accuracy. Meanwhile, we will submit our 800A paperwork (asking for permission to adopt outside of the US) to the US government, which is needed for the dossier. This takes about 2-3 months to approve and our final piece of our dossier will be ready to go! Once sent to China, it will take about 3 months for the dossier to be approved, which means we will be officially Logged In (LID, meaning logged into the China adoption system). Essentially, this is when the matching process begins. If you are keeping up at home, this puts our timeline around the end of the year (maybe sooner) before we can move onto the next steps.
Next steps? Yes, there are more steps after our dossier is accepted, and honestly, I can't remember exactly what comes after that. If you look at the projected timeline in the Lifeline manuel, it is extremely overwhelming to see all of the different kinds of documents that have to be approved and how long it takes to approve each kind. Just know that once we are dossier approved, travel will happen about 5-6 months later, even though we are only given approximately 2 weeks' notice for our official travel date. Will I be even more of a nervous wreck when the end of the year comes around not knowing EXACTLY when we are set to jet halfway around the world? Yes. However, I keep reminding myself that is very small compared to the big change about to take place in this little girl's life and our lives. Soon we'll be hearing "Todd - party of 3".
Even though the education portion of the adoption process was not always my favorite "pick-me-up" portion of my day, it has been extremely helpful in knowing and preparing us for what may come our way. In some ways, it helped soften my heart and develop my love for these precious orphans that much more. We may not parent Paisley the "traditional way" as we will our biological children, which might not be right 100% of the time in the eyes of some, but we do promise to raise her in a safe, loving, caring, nurturing home where she will never feel alone again. Even though she was birthed by another, she will always be our daughter. I am a firm believer that this journey Daniel and I are on now to find her is just the very tip of what is to come for our growing family. We aren't just changing her life; she is changing ours.
Once the home study interviews are complete, Lifeline begins to compile our draft for our dossier (which is the official packet of our lives) to send to China. This process will take about a month of compiling and revising before Daniel and I will authorize its completion and accuracy. Meanwhile, we will submit our 800A paperwork (asking for permission to adopt outside of the US) to the US government, which is needed for the dossier. This takes about 2-3 months to approve and our final piece of our dossier will be ready to go! Once sent to China, it will take about 3 months for the dossier to be approved, which means we will be officially Logged In (LID, meaning logged into the China adoption system). Essentially, this is when the matching process begins. If you are keeping up at home, this puts our timeline around the end of the year (maybe sooner) before we can move onto the next steps.
Next steps? Yes, there are more steps after our dossier is accepted, and honestly, I can't remember exactly what comes after that. If you look at the projected timeline in the Lifeline manuel, it is extremely overwhelming to see all of the different kinds of documents that have to be approved and how long it takes to approve each kind. Just know that once we are dossier approved, travel will happen about 5-6 months later, even though we are only given approximately 2 weeks' notice for our official travel date. Will I be even more of a nervous wreck when the end of the year comes around not knowing EXACTLY when we are set to jet halfway around the world? Yes. However, I keep reminding myself that is very small compared to the big change about to take place in this little girl's life and our lives. Soon we'll be hearing "Todd - party of 3".
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
for the face of our daughter
We've been on our journey to bring home our little girl for 5 months now. Honestly, I never knew it was going to be this difficult not knowing the face of our daughter.
I've spoken with other adoptive parents, and they briefly mentioned how difficult the adoption process was for them, stating various hurdles/situations they have personally overcome before bringing home their child. I was naiive to think that it wouldn't be me. I thought I was strong enough to not let this journey phase me mentally, because I knew the emotional side of it would get to me. And it has. The emotional side of the adoption journey is a roller coaster. Since I haven't experienced pregnancy, I like to think the adoption journey is similar to that of being pregnant. One minute I'm on cloud 9 and the next I am at a low. Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart.
But the mental side of it. It has been difficult. Some days it is hard to continue the motivation of this long journey without knowing the face of our child. However, I have a mental picture of her. I know she is beautiful and perfect in every way with big brown eyes. That is about all that I can see right now. Her personality is one that I think about often. With Paisley being our firstborn, I see her possessing a lot of the same qualities as myself when I was a child: shy, quiet, playing well by herself, and reserved. On the other hand, I see her possessing some of Daniel's qualities as well: being a busy body, focused on her interests, chatting it up with people she knows, and ripping and roaring while playing outside.
It's in those hard moments that I am reminded of the reason why we are on this journey and Who is in control. We've had to lean on Him more than we've ever had before. All things work for His glory, and we believe that. Without the hard times, the good times don't mean as much. Our full faith is in God's hands, and we trust He will reveal our daughter in His perfect time.
I've cried, laughed, smiled, and sat in complete silence thinking about this precious child who will change our lives for the better. She is already a blessing to us and spoiled beyond belief already!
I've spoken with other adoptive parents, and they briefly mentioned how difficult the adoption process was for them, stating various hurdles/situations they have personally overcome before bringing home their child. I was naiive to think that it wouldn't be me. I thought I was strong enough to not let this journey phase me mentally, because I knew the emotional side of it would get to me. And it has. The emotional side of the adoption journey is a roller coaster. Since I haven't experienced pregnancy, I like to think the adoption journey is similar to that of being pregnant. One minute I'm on cloud 9 and the next I am at a low. Adoption is definitely not for the faint of heart.
But the mental side of it. It has been difficult. Some days it is hard to continue the motivation of this long journey without knowing the face of our child. However, I have a mental picture of her. I know she is beautiful and perfect in every way with big brown eyes. That is about all that I can see right now. Her personality is one that I think about often. With Paisley being our firstborn, I see her possessing a lot of the same qualities as myself when I was a child: shy, quiet, playing well by herself, and reserved. On the other hand, I see her possessing some of Daniel's qualities as well: being a busy body, focused on her interests, chatting it up with people she knows, and ripping and roaring while playing outside.
It's in those hard moments that I am reminded of the reason why we are on this journey and Who is in control. We've had to lean on Him more than we've ever had before. All things work for His glory, and we believe that. Without the hard times, the good times don't mean as much. Our full faith is in God's hands, and we trust He will reveal our daughter in His perfect time.
I've cried, laughed, smiled, and sat in complete silence thinking about this precious child who will change our lives for the better. She is already a blessing to us and spoiled beyond belief already!
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