Friday, January 2, 2015

2015: The Real Deal

2015:  The Year of Paisley.

At least that is what it feels like at our home at the moment.  Midnight struck NYE.  Daniel and I looked at each other and said, "This is the year that we bring our daughter home." 

And cue the chills.

With every new year brings new challenges, controversies, and learning moments.  This year will be no exception as welcome a little girl into our home whose title of "orphan" will quickly change to many:  daughter, granddaughter, niece, great-granddaughter, cousin.

Every January our church starts the year with 21 Days of Prayer.  During this time, you are asked to focus solely on God and His plan for the upcoming year.  It is a powerful time within our church, and many life-changing things have happened during these seasons of prayer.  Yesterday I read a status posted by Church of the Highlands that said:

"As we come up on #21daysofprayer, we encourage you to pray about your objective for the fast, for example:  healing, guidance, reconciliation, renewal, hope...What are you believing for in 2015?"

That last sentence:  What are you, Leslie, believing for in 2015?  It was like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on me.  It had my attention and I started thinking....What am I believing to happen in 2015?  It's dumb to say "to bring my daughter home safely", because, duh, that is a given.  "For Paisley to be healthy and her medical reports to be good."  Duh, again.  We pray for that daily.  "To provide for our family financially during my 3-month leave from work when we are leaning solely on Daniel's paycheck."  As important as that is, it is still a "duh" request.

So it got me to thinking....What do I want to happen in 2015 more than anything?  What is something that is deep within my soul that is troubling me?  Then it hit me.  As glorious, wonderful, life-changing as 2015 will be, it will be the hardest year of my life to date.  How do I know this?  Why am I so "negative" already?  I've heard stories about it.  I've seen other adoptive families live it.  The struggles are real, but the pay-off is greater!  However, 2015 will not be the pay-off year.  It will be a building year. 

I am believing and praying for in 2015 (with all of my mind, body, soul, and heart) that life as a family of 3 will transition as seamless and beautiful as possible.  I believe the new life Paisley will receive will be the missing piece of the foundation to the start of her life's purpose.  As selfish as I would like to be with my request and only asking God to care for me during the next year (which I am doing by the way), there is someone whose entire world is turning upside down and inside out.  She won't know that these pale white, funny-looking strangers are there to bring her to another country for the chance at a great life. As far as she knows, her life is good as it is.  That will be my prayer in years to come:  that she will see, believe, and trust that what Daniel and I did was for the good and she would never resent us for following our hearts.

2015 is turning into a year of "Let's be real, Leslie".  So let's be real.  As wonderful, exciting, life-changing, beautiful, tearful (happy tears) as 2015 will be, I'm bracing for a year of heartache, hurt, pain, unknowns, stress, and sleepless nights.  What I am believing and praying for this year is that God will take those rough times and turn them into something redemptive.  I believe He knows those circumstances already and is beginning His work to quickly resolve any hard times that will come our way.  Praise God for always knowing what's to come before we get there!