Let's get down to the nitty gritty

Knowledge.
Wisdom.
Insight.
Discernment.

These are a few things that are gained when you go through life's experiences.  It doesn't mean that you become a master at any said topic of experience.  However, you are able to weed through the muck and see the experience for what it really is.  The lesson learned can be used to equip and educate others.

So that is what I plan to do.

It has taken me a few months to realize how to best use this new calling upon our lives.  We have transitioned from a couple who was waiting and completing mounds of paperwork for our daughter to a family who is trying to figure out how to function.

The adoption world is an unknown abyss.  It might be one of the most best kept secrets as far as the ins and outs of what is required to adopt and how much sacrifice is required once the adoption has taken place and a new family member is added.  Quite honestly if I knew back in November 2013 everything that I have come to know now, I'm not sure I would be as calm and sane as I was during our journey to bring Paisley home.  God has transformed me from the inside out to be the mother Paisley needs me to be for her sake.  Is He finished with me yet?  Of course not!  Are there more things for me to learn and experience?  You better believe it!  The great part is that He is right here, guiding my every step.

As part of our calling to help families who are currently adopting, I personally feel led to continue to share how our life continues to unfold now that we have Paisley.  I'm not looking to sugarcoat any of my experiences, because that doesn't help anyone.  Frankly, I would be a liar if I didn't share the raw and hard moments as we have become a family of 3.  Nothing about bringing a child with a traumatic past into your home is an easy task.  It is hard work, constant work, tiring work, painful work, overwhelming work, but oh so rewarding work.

As you read future blog posts, please keep in mind the following things:

1.  I am human.  I make mistakes, and I've had to learn to show myself grace more than anyone else.  We are our own biggest critics, right?  Just like any new or seasoned parent, we don't always see the best choice until after the opportunity has past.  Hey, we live and learn.
2.  I love Paisley dearly.  I would make 20 more trips to China and back if that meant that she would be mine.  There is nothing that I wouldn't do for that precious little girl.  Sometimes I forget that she isn't from my flesh.  When I look at her, I don't see a Chinese little girl.  I see my daughter, and we don't have physical differences.  Plus she is the most beautiful and loving little girl I've ever known.  I'm only slightly biased in my opinion with that last statement.  ;)
3.  As easy as it is to make comparisons between bio kids and adopted kids, please know there are BIG differences in the way that I parent my child vs how you parent your child.  We have gone through extensive training about how to parent, discipline, love, care for, and help an adopted child transition into her new role as a daughter within society.  Though our experiences with our children sound similar, the way we love Paisley through difficult situations will look a lot different from what our gut as parents tells us to do.  Some look at adopted parents as liberal/free-spirited/hippy/relaxed/weird parents.  Trust me.  We are anything BUT these things.  We are very much in control of every situation (at least we are fighting with every ounce of our being to be in control) even though our helicopter parent techniques look vastly opposite to your techniques.  Again, we aren't experts with being parents to an adopted child, but we were trained by the professionals.
4.  Keep an open mind and heart when reading my posts.  I assure you that you at some point you will disagree with my logic.  I am not above differing opinions, but let's keep our discussions civil.
5.  I will ALWAYS speak from my heart.  I will promise you that I will hold nothing back.

It's time to get real and raw.  It's time to get to the nitty gritty and take a look at the "secret" world of adoption.




Disclaimer:  Just like every child is different, every family is different.  The way we interact and help Paisley is not necessarily the way that every adopted child is raised by his/her parents.  We are applying our training knowledge to fit Paisley's needs during each moment.