Orphan Sunday. His Call. Our Response.

As written by Daniel...

When I first heard about Orphan Sunday several months ago, I knew that I wanted to write a blog post bringing out its awareness.  I began to pray about what I should say and what I needed to talk about.  Can I just tell you that I stink at this stuff.  I’ll be the first to tell you my grammar is not the best, and it’s hard for me to put down in words what I am truly thinking and what I am feeling.  However, that being said, I am not trying to impress anyone.  I am only trying to do what I feel like I am being called to do, which is to share my wife and my story and bring awareness to the estimated 153 MILLION ORPHANS around the globe. So anyways, here I go, hang on…

First, I would like to say this post is not a post with its theme being that everyone needs to go out and adopt.  I just wanted to share my adoption story.  When I accepted Christ when I was younger, I was then adopted as one of God’s children.  You see, adoption is an act of God whereby he makes us members of His family.  John 1:12 puts it like this, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-“.  Wow, do you ever think about that? As Christians, we are CHILDREN of God.  Children of God, not cousins or brothers or those distant relatives you occasionally talk to, but children of God.  What’s awesome about that is God could have saved us without the privileges of adoption into his family, for he could have forgiven our sins and given us lawful right before Him without making us His children.  What amazing love God has shown me.  Romans 8:14, “because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”  Come on y’all! Does that not fire you up!?!

I thought a few months ago that my adoption story started only when we began to adopt our daughter, Paisley.  Man was I wrong. I’ve since realized that I was the orphan who had no hope. I was that orphan who was thirsty and hungry and had no food or water.  I was that orphan who was spiritually dead. I was that orphan who was enslaved with sin.  Now I look at the cross.  Now the God of hope fills me with all joy and peace. Now I feast on the bread of life and drink living water that is Christ Jesus.  I was then dead but now I am promised eternal life and because of the cross, because Christ died for me therefore forgiving my sins. I am washed in the blood of the Lamb. I praise God for that! What love he shows and gives us.

So why adoption for me?  Because I was adopted first. My challenge for you is to pray about what God is calling you to do for orphans.  I don’t know what that is for you and your family, but what I do know is that it isn’t sit back and do nothing.  That Bible clearly states God’s call for orphan care. Start with James 1:19-27 and verses like Isaiah 1:17. What if we as followers of Christ began to stop using the Bible as a guide for when we need to be uplifted and only picking and choosing the things that we want to apply to our lives.  Instead, we should enter into these stories of the Bible that will shape our lives to be more like Christ.

I like how our agency puts the call of orphan care.  If you can’t adopt, foster; if you can’t foster, sponser; if you can’t sponser, volunteer; if you can’t volunteer, donate; if you can't donate, educate; and honestly above all, pray. And that is what I am asking you to do. Get into the word of God and pray about what He would like you to do to help out those 153 millions orphans around the world.

One Less.

the struggle is real, but the payoff is unimaginable

Over the past year, I am thankful to say that I have started to find my purpose. If you had told me this time last year that I would be well into the process of adopting a little girl from China, I would have laughed and said you were crazy. It is a tall order to be someone's parent who you did not birth and to raise, care for, nurture, love, discipline, laugh/cry with, and spend thousands of dollars like he/she was your very own. Ha! That is quite hilarious just thinking about it now.

"What's that, God? You want me to do what?! How?! With what money?! I don't have the mental or emotional strength to do that. You have lost your mind, God. But I want a child who is my own flesh and blood. I want... I want... I want..."

After my doubtful rant to God spilling everything to Him about how I could not do X, Y, Z because of A, B, C reasons, He reminded me that I was right. I could NEVER do this on my own. In fact, Daniel and I together could NEVER adopt with just the two of us. It is through Him that we find our strength and motivation to begin the adventure of our lifetime...

Over the course of the last 11 months, Daniel and I have been paid remarkable compliments commending our selfless act of adopting. "You will be great parents." "Paisley is one blessed little girl to have parents like you." "She will bring so much joy to yours lives." "What a wonderful thing you are doing."

As completely flattering as those compliments are for both Daniel and me to hear (by the way, thank you for each and every one of those), honestly not one of them phase us. We appreciate them; don't get me wrong, but we aren't focused on how we can change the world. We can't take credit for this adoption, because honestly it wasn't our first choice. In fact, we fought for it to not happen at all. And I am ashamed to say that, because look at what we would be missing if we stood our ground and said "no" to God. This may come off sounding arrogant, but please hear my heart. Nothing about this adoption is about us and the type of people we are. We simply told God "yes" and "we obey" and now He is moving mountains. We give Him the glory through the good times, bad times, easy times, and hard times.

And the hard times are coming even though Daniel and I have been thoroughly trained about adopted children by reading books, watching videos, and going through countless slideshows. Separately, we have completed roughly 20+ hours of training during our home study process. We still have one more conference to attend before we travel so we'll be well over the 20+ hour mark before too long. For me the most surprising thing to learn about adoption is that coming home with a new family member will be more difficult than we can imagine and to expect for things to not be sunshine and rainbows right away. You're probably thinking "Oh, c'mon, Leslie. I think you are over exaggerating. All kids are the same and deal with similar kid-like issues. You will have to discipline with a firm hand, and everything will be fine." To that I say, "Will it though? Have you sat down with adoptive families and listened to their struggles with their new family member? Have you seen the hurt and love in the parents' eyes as they pour out their heart about not feeling like a good enough parent to their child?" You see, I have.

Most adoptive parents don't vocalize their struggles to the non-adoptive parent world, because adoptive issues are on a different (not higher, but just different) playing field than biological children issues. It's hard for someone who has never parented an adopted/foster child to realize that the misbehavior from the child is connected to their time in an orphanage/being abandoned. Furthermore, it is even harder to know exactly how to treat these behaviors since most adoptive parents grew up within their biological families and can't relate to how the adopted child is feeling. Honestly, it terrifies the stew out of me to not know exactly what my child will need from me and how I will be able to fix it. And all of these "things" that I mention aren't referring to the basic needs, but I am talking about the emotional and mental damage that has been done due to the fact that she was without a family during the most important developmental years of her life. It absolutely breaks my heart.

Why am I saying all of this? Why now? Why so doom and gloom? Why so negative? Because it is the reality that we may face. I am a fool to think everything will be "fine" and she will come to America, and it will be like she has always been our child. Do we pray every single day for the hard times to be minor and for Paisley to be "well" emotionally, mentally, and physically? You better believe it!  I have never prayed so hard and long for something in my life. And if I could ask a selfish favor of you, I would ask that you would pray for the same please. Pray for Paisley's emotional state, her mental development, and her physical health and well-being. Even though we were given a little information about her medical special needs, we won't fully know her physical needs until she is in America to be checked out. There is a huge possibility that she will face bigger issues than the ones we have read about from her medical file. We trust that her medical needs remain small and correctable once we bring her home, but I am scared beyond my control.

One more favor please. Could you pray for Daniel and me? It's been a long road, and we are closing in on our travel dates. The struggle to remain focused on the task at hand is a daily challenge. I am so thankful that God has revealed our daughter to us so soon, because we would just now be in the matching part of the process if we had taken the conventional way.

As always, thank you; thank you; thank you for being so supportive and full of encouragement! Your words and prayers are what keeps our spirits up and affirms that we are doing God's purpose. Just know every sweet compliment you pay to us, we send straight to Him. Our adoption isn't about us. It is about Him.

Emerald Grande Resort 2-night stay drawing (updated)

This fundraiser has ENDED.



We've been blessed to know some very generous people who have helped us raise money to bring Paisley home.  Some of these people are family and friends, but there have been others who are friends of family and friends.  Then there are those who are complete strangers who have given from the pure goodness of their hearts.  You talk about a humbling experience.  All gifts still humble us to our core.  Thank you.

When we were approached by my mom to give away a 2-night package in a 2-bedroom condo** at the beautiful Emerald Grande (EG) in Destin, FL, Daniel and I were speechless.  Frankly, we are quite envious of this giveaway since we have never stayed there ourselves, but we have toured and visited the EG often since my mom works there.  The units are beautiful and overlook the Destin Harbor.  There are a number of restaurants and shops located in the HarborWalk Village, which next to the EG, and driving isn't necessary. 

Also included in this giveaway package is a 6-hour deep-sea fishing trip for 2 aboard the Swoop, $40 EG gift card (to use at the Grande Vista Restaurant, gift shop, or at the EG bar) and a goody bag of gifts from the spa.  The total package retails $1,350! 


Emerald Grande at HarborWalk Village in Destin, FL

So how much? 
Tickets for this extravagant package are just $20.  Yes, $20 a ticket.  You can email, text, or fb message us with your ticket order.  We will then send you a picture of your ticket(s).

The giveaway will run until Friday, December 5th, and the winner will be drawn on Saturday, December 6th. 




Emerald Grande 2-night stay in a 2-bedroom condo



6-Hour Deep-Sea Fishing for 2 aboard the Swoop

EG Spa Gifts

Retail Value of the Emerald Grande Stay Package
2-night stay in a 2-bedroom condo:           $1,100
Gift Card:                                                  $40
Swoop Deep-Sea Fishing for 2:                    $150
Spa Retail Gifts:                                        $60
Total:                                                      $1,350

**Terms and Conditions:  Reservations must be made within 2 weeks of use.  Seasonal restrictions apply.  Reservations based on space and availability and are not valid over holidays, holiday weekends, or peak season.  Valid until May 31, 2015.

now the waiting part begins

It's official!  If you haven't heard, we are officially DTC as of 9/30! 

DTC?  Dossier to China

Dossier?  Our dossier is a collection of 13 documents, which includes our home study report, medical results, background checks, pictures of our family and house, extremely detailed financial information, various letters we have written, and other Daniel and Leslie Todd personal information.  We, essentially, have been working on gathering for our dossier since the very beginning of our adoption journey.  It's weird to think that the bulk of frantically gathering of documents is over.  As big of a step as DTC is, we are still roughly 4-6 months out from travel.

Now to the waiting part.  So what does this mean now that we are DTC?  Where do we go from here?

The next step we are waiting for is LID (logged in date, approved on 10/15), which takes roughly 3-4 weeks from DTC.  This means that the CCCWA (China's Centre for Children's Welfare and Adoption) has reviewed our dossier and entered in our information into their adoption system.  Once the LID is received, this is essentially when the matching process begins. 

However, since we are already matched, then we will immediately go into waiting for our LOA (letter of acceptance) for Paisley.  The LOA is different from the LOI (letter of intent) that we mailed off in May.  The LOI states that we are intending on adopting Paisley, but nothing is officially official as of yet.  We received PA (pre-approval) from China on 6/19 stating that Paisley is "on hold" for us to adopt.  Once we received PA, the CCCWA gave us a 6-month deadline to send our dossier to them, which we did.  YAY!

...so are you keeping up?  It's a lot to follow and process.  We know.  Our entire lives revolve around these terms and acronyms.

Now back to the LOA.  Once we are LID, then begins our LOA wait, which takes anywhere from 60-90 days.  (Honestly, the LOA can last longer than 90 days.  There are families as you are reading this that have been waiting on LOA for longer than 90 days.  Please pray for these families as this step in the waiting process is long and extremely painful.)  The LOA states that we accept to adopt Paisley as our child.  Once we receive LOA, then we are roughly 8 weeks (or longer) from travel.

whew.  That is a lot.  Frankly, that isn't even close to the end of the process once we receive LOA.  As you can see by our official Lifeline timeline, we are not really close to being halfway even though we are starting to pick up some steam.  It is a lot of hurry up and wait.

We still covet your prayers for the process, waiting part, and financial obligations.  We've applied for a few grants so far and we continue to apply for grants.  We hope to hear something soon about those.  Thank you so much for your prayers over the past 11 months.  There have been hard days, easy days, sad days, happy days.  Adoption is a roller coaster of emotions and a lot of uncertainty and unanswered questions.  Even though it is the hardest thing we've done with our lives thus far, we are honored and blessed we were chosen to raise this beautiful little girl.  We fall more in love with her every day.  Thank you for letting us share our journey to bring Paisley home with you!

from one mother to another: a letter to Paisley's bio mom

As I was doing some research a couple of weeks ago about Paisley's birth providence, I started thinking about her biological parents, more specifically her mom. Because of how Paisley was found, there is no information about either one of her biological parents. It isn't surprising to Daniel or myself that we will never know who her bio parents were or their story, but one day we will have to share the answers to the hard questions with Paisley. We don't have all of the answers to her questions she will ask, but we will make sure that she does not harbor negative feelings towards her bio parents, especially her mom. We could come up with a tragic story about how adoption was the only way to save Paisley's life or they were dirt poor and couldn't afford to care for a newborn.  Also, we could assure her that her bio mom and dad knew she would have a better life without being in their care. And that story might be true.

However, you can't overlook the heart-breaking possibility as well:  her bio parents could have just not been ready to be parents. Maybe they were afraid of becoming parents. Maybe they wanted a boy and not a girl. Maybe they were poor and couldn't raise a child. There are a million heart-warming and heart-breaking reasons as to why her bio parents are not caring for her now. But that isn't the important part of this story. The important part is the ending, and yet it is the beginning of a life with a loving and caring family who will never abandon her.

As great it is to think about how a little girl's life will change for the better, I can't stop thinking about her bio parents. Where are they? What are they doing? How do they feel?  Do they wonder about their little girl? Do they hope and pray that she will be adopted and cared for? As hard as it is for our American brains to comprehend ever leaving a newborn only a few days old to be found and placed in an orphanage, we've learned that these Chinese mothers do care for their babies. Since abortion and giving a child up for adoption are illegal in China, abandoning a child is the only route if parents are unable to care for a child and hope for a prosperous life for their child. A lot of the mothers will pin the child's name and birthdate to the newborn's clothes so their identity isn't lost once in the orphanage. That one simple act leads me to believe that these parents do care for their children, so much that they give them up for a chance at a better life.

I think about what that moment must have been like for Paisley's bio mother as she walked away from her child for the last time not knowing what would happen to her. I can't imagine the pain she could have felt. What was she thinking during those moments? Does she still think of her little baby? Has she been able to go back to her everyday life post-baby? Has she given birth to other children? Does she feel empty inside not having her daughter with her?

I pray for Paisley's bio mom. Even though I will never meet her, I think of her often and admire her bravery, if that is what it really is.

Dear Paisley's bio mother,
There aren't enough words to accurately portray my feelings towards you. I am unaware of your situation at the time of your daughter's birth. I can't assume that you were doing a selfless act by giving your child a better life. On the other hand, I can't assume that you were being selfish by giving her up either. Your motives will forever be a mystery, and I can't spend any more time thinking about that day and why.  

I want to thank you for giving up your little girl for adoption no matter your reason.  You have given 2 American people such joy by giving us a gift that we would never repay you for.  You have given us our first child.  I assure you 100% that she will always be taken care of.  She will never grow hungry, thirsty, alone, bored.  She already is and will continue to be loved like she was a blood relative of our family.  I've always hated the saying "blood is thicker than water", because it's not true.  Family isn't something a person is necessarily born into, but it's a unit that is accepting of others no matter their origin.  It's people who welcome and adopt one as their own to care and nurture each other.  

Even though we are beginning our family unit, your daughter is the first building block to our expansion.  She is just as special to us as if she was our own flesh and blood. We will provide everything she needs in order for her to grow up as a smart, loving, caring, selfless, successful, honest, respectful, young lady.  She is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen, and I have yet to see her in person.  I promise to pray for you daily and to teach Paisley to pray for you as well.  I will encourage her to not only see herself when she is looking in the mirror, but recognize the woman who gave her life.  The mother she will never know but will learn to appreciate.   There will be no bitter feelings towards you in our house, because you made the choice to give life.  And you gave us the most precious life.  

Thank you seems so small.  Instead I promise to be the mother that Paisley needs.  I will never take for granted this miraculous gift.  Thank you for giving me a daughter.

Eternally grateful,
Paisley's adoptive mommy